Insanity...

I feel temporarily bouts of psychoses scrambling my brain and putting it on a deep fryer to make a greasy ball of mushy nonsense.

...

Did that make sense? I do not know...

Either way, MUGSI is frustrating the crappola out of me as I have been trying to get on to print my timetable in a last attempt to change my classics section tomorrow, forcing me to drag my butt down to McMaster on a day I clearly do not have classes and I clearly must take a long and debilitating trip to Toronto to pick up my beloved with her mother tomorrow. I hope there is a nice surprise at the end of that journey...say, some chocolate. English chocolate does sound nice. If not, I'm ecstatic to see my Lorraine and finally have her at home for awhile. Its as if I've been missing an appendage of my body since she's disappeared for so many months. Maybe an arm or a leg. Something I cannot function without...and NO not the 'appendage' you dirty birds are thinking about. I am currently working on gaining one of those (ask me to elaborate in private for those who are not a part of this sick and twisted scheme which us gals developed way back in high school). However, I'll explain a bit more in that...area...in a moment...

I must traverse onto something that happened to me tonight which was slightly shocking, to say the least, and a giant eye opener in my books. As I was walking out of the hospital tonight, I ran into a nameless acquaintance from my childhood who is now, in fact, about to give birth. 13 days overdue. to a baby boy. And after my initial gasp and congratulations and the chit chat/catching up act, I began to think, "Wow, this girl I knew when I was a kid, is all grown up now and having babies!" (Yes, sorry for the unintellectual statement I just made, but sometimes the bouts of psychoses transverse into my normal thought patterns and I tell myself something really dumb)

Anyways, it just struck me with amazement that this girl was now a woman. Then of course, I kicked myself in the butt with, "Why the hell aren't you a woman now?" Alright, now don't take this as me going out and making babies (but as a joke I already have about 532 of them with Lorraine...all living in Germany), but I've never really grown out of that girlish mindset. Sure, I can be mature at times (Yeah, I know, that's a lie :P), but when do you actually become...womanly? When you get married? When you have babies? When you get a career? I just think sometimes, like most teenagers do, that I'm invincible and nothing is going to change in my life. I can picture the husband, the babies and the career, but I cannot picture myself ...getting older. I've become stuck in this 20 something image of myself and it's kind of strange. I want to get old and wrinkly, but I've never been able to picture that part of my life. Is this a bad thing? I don't know...but the thought of my life moving on from this incredible point that it's hit, is hard to imagine...

On another note, a short one at that, my heart has yet again gone for another spin. Am I going to do it? I better, because I don't want to keep screaming chicken poo or being called a pussy care of Matty! Although that was funny...Matty, you're a darling...you're like the big, little brother I never had! (Hold on, I have two of those....ah, they're not as funny as you!)